So I had my first driving lesson last week. No I’m not 17, nor am I near the age normal people start learning to drive. I am well in to my twenties and I’ve finally (somewhat forcibly) began on this very windy learning curve.
I have avoided learning to drive because I have little confidence in my ability to control a car. I also have little patience with myself, which is ironic as I work in a profession that provokes the comment “I could never do what you do” from the majority of people I speak to. I have resisited learning because I am stubborn and possibly slightly lazy. And I would probably never ever admit this to anyone but I think I’m probably scared. Scared of failing. Scared of making a fool out of myself. Scared of crashing – I do have a tendency to act like I’m in Grand Theft Auto, which isn’t helped that, along with a gift of driving lessons from my parents they also bought me Grand Theft Auto 5. Hmm, encouraging.
Strangely my first driving lesson wasn’t a horrendous car crash – excuse the pun. I actually avoided kangaroo hopping, killing any innocent bystanders, verbally/physically abusing my driving instructor and remained seated in the driver’s seat for the duration of the lesson. This is an achievement for someone as tempestuous and unteachable as myself.
As well as the actual learning side of driving, I’m also very concerned that I’ll never be calm enough to pass an actual driving test. Another reason I’ve never learnt to drive. I’m not one to panic, stress or get overly nervous, I’m very good at controlling my emotions and nerves but this is definitely a chink in my normally impenetrable armour. I wonder why so many people seem to breeze through learning to drive and have no issues whatsoever but I seem to create so many barriers for myself, so that now it’s a much bigger issue than it ever should have been. And therein lies my problem; I can very efficiently stop myself from succeeding because I think I can’t do something.
Tomorrow is my second lesson and I’m actually more concerned about this one than I was about the first lesson. So I may descend in to delinquency yet! Stay tuned there may be a future post entitled “I HATE LEARNING TO DRIVE”.